The True Measure of a Man
by Kanna37
Summary: Eight years after the defeat of Naraku and the deaths of her friends, Sesshoumaru finds Kagome in the midst of the remains of a great battle. She's been damaged, but he's determined to bring her back, no matter what it takes. Finally complete.
1. Chapter 1

**The True Measure of a Man**

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Inuyasha.

~oOo~

With an agonized moan Kagome returned to the land of the living; within minutes her memory had returned and she almost wished _she_ hadn't.

Everything hurt. Every part of her body and mind, but the worst hurt was in her soul.

A gentle arm came around her shoulders and lifted her up slightly, offering her cool water to soothe her parched throat, and Kagome's eyes took in her surroundings for the first time – a beautiful, light, airy room done in pale woods and greens and pinks – spring colors in a Lord's home.

"Drink slowly, priestess," a rich, baritone voice murmured; _Sesshoumaru. _Kagome was stunned.

She took a sip, followed by another. "What happened to me?" she rasped, the pain in her soul slipping into her voice. Her true question: _Why am I here?_

There was a pause as Sesshoumaru allowed her to take another sip, and then oh, so gently laid her back against the soft bedding, smoothing the blankets back over her bruised and broken form. After a moment he spoke, his voice softer than she had ever heard it.

"What do you remember?"

_Fire, blood, pain. Male youkai, oh so many of them. Too many for me and Kirara alone to fight. _

Inuyasha had decided after long consideration that he could not break his vow to Kikyou. He'd have felt far too much guilt to ever have lived happily if he'd broken his word to her, and so after they'd all defeated Naraku he'd gone with her, unhappily, true, but still nonetheless gone with her to hell.

Kagome couldn't find it in herself to be angry at him, but oh, she hated Kikyou for it – in her mind the former miko was simply selfish, especially as she really wasn't even in hell – she'd condemned the hanyou to a lonely death, because her soul was already in use again. Inuyasha had been gipped. _His_ only real crime had been foolishness.

But there was nothing Kagome could do about it.

Miroku, Sango, and Shippo had all died in the final battle, and Inuyasha's last wish had been for Kagome to return home after he went to hell with Kikyou.

One problem. After he'd left and Kirara took her for the final time to the well, she'd discovered that it was closed... stranding her, leaving her with her only companions remaining being Kirara and Kaede.

That was eight years ago – and she hadn't aged since, which had branded her a dark witch in the primitive mindsets of the people of that time period. Kaede had managed to keep the villagers from doing anything hasty – but she'd finally died a year past, and without her calming influence the villagers had quickly gotten out of hand and cast her out.

Left to wander around in the wilderness with only Kirara for company, it hadn't been long before she'd drawn the attention of a rather large group of adolescent youkai males... she was, after all, a very attractive, powerful female.

"Kirara?" she asked slowly, frightened of the answer.

"Your firecat is injured but she will eventually heal, Kagome," he replied after a moment, "much like you, yourself." He looked down at her. "You did not answer my question."

She didn't respond for a moment, then she moaned, the sound agonized. "I remember everything," she whispered, and he could hear the anguish in her soul permeate her voice; he knew in that moment that she did, indeed, remember _everything_.

The elegant, long-fingered hand that lay against his side slowly clenched into a fist, the deadly claws tipping them drawing blood; his eyes flashed crimson to match the sanguine liquid beginning to stain the pale wood of the floor.

Those who had hurt her that had not already been destroyed when she'd fought them would soon pay dearly for what they had done to her...

He would make sure of it.

~oOo~

For the next two months Kagome did little more than focus on healing her body enough to be able to move around freely once more. Sesshoumaru encouraged this silently by instructing the servants in opening the shoji in her rooms into the gardens for most of every day; the beauty of those gardens drew her sad, weary little soul and she pushed herself to get up and go outside.

About three weeks after waking up Kirara joined her in her rooms; Kagome was pretty overwhelmed – the firecat was the last of her original companions and she was for that very reason deeply attached to her.

Besides one small scar along her underside from a very deep puncture Kirara had escaped with no other scars, for which Kagome was grateful; a guilty priestess actually begged a tiny kitten to stay with Sesshoumaru rather than travel with her any longer so that she wouldn't be hurt again.

Needless to say, Kirara was just a bit upset with her for that until a dejected Kagome apologized. The firecat forgave her quickly enough though, once she did, understanding that she simply wanted her friend to be kept safe.

Kagome tried very hard to avoid Sesshoumaru out of shame for what had befallen her; she felt she was no longer worthy of a male's affections and she was quickly falling in love with the beautiful youkai lord that was proving himself so gentle to one in need of a caring hand. The daiyoukai would have none of it, however, firmly stomping all over her attempts at avoidance and deliberately seeking her out.

Frustration and shame finally came to a head. "I don't understand why you would want to see me, Sesshoumaru-sama!" she shouted, refusing to look at him. "You didn't try to see me in any way in all the years following Naraku's defeat, but now that I've been shamed you seek out my company? The company of one of those worthless humans? Do you enjoy seeing the levels of degradation that the human filth has descended to? Does it please you to see how low I've been brought?" Her hands came up to hide her face as she sobbed brokenly into them, anguish literally dripping from her words as her memories began to overwhelm her.

"Wench! You should be down on your knees thanking Sesshoumaru-sama for even helping your worthless hide, not berating him!" came Jaken's screechy voice. Kagome was shocked out of her grief at the low, vicious snarl that ripped from the daiyoukai's throat as he attacked the gami, sending him flying across the room.

"You will never speak to Kagome that way again, toad!" he hissed warningly, his eyes flashing crimson as Jaken and every servant in the room cowered in fear. "If any one of you ever show her any sort of disrespect you will face my wrath, is that understood? You will treat her as though she were me!" he rasped, then gestured sharply for everyone to leave.

That declaration stunned everyone in the room, not the least of which was Kagome herself. She silently watched the room empty as everyone fled obediently, her mind blank as she tried to take in what had just happened, tears still falling silently down her cheeks.

Finally, when the silence had stretched her strained and broken nerves too far, she whispered, "Why?" while staring at her hands, unable to bring herself to look at him – afraid of what she would see.

Jaw clenched tight Sesshoumaru stared at the walls for a moment, trying to bring his anger under control – control that had been tested, strained and pushed by the circumstances of the past couple of years almost more than he could bear.

The daiyoukai had admired this priestess for many years and had been watching her in the lead up to the battle with Naraku for some time, weighing whether to court her or not. He had finally decided to do so – and then the battle with Naraku had happened, and he had not been there.

He hadn't found out that Naraku had been defeated until Kagura had come to him and attempted to court _him_ – he'd been quite taken aback when he'd found out that Naraku had been destroyed, Kagome's friends had died, and that she'd gone home through the well.

That last piece of information from Kagura had greatly disgruntled him – it meant that he would have to wait for five hundred years until her time to court her.

Yes, he knew of her time and he was very willing to wait, though it was _not_ a happy thought.

Kagura had been_ quite_ angry when she found out that he was not open to her suit.

Imagine his shock _and_ rage when he'd been in the middle of a routine, rather boring sweep of his lands and had felt the shockwaves of a huge battle that had been fought... he'd immediately recognized Kagome's reiki and the jyaki of a large amount of youkai...

She'd been attacked by a large group of honorless, houseless males. She'd fought a magnificent battle, there was no doubt of that, with no one by her side but the firecat, and she'd destroyed almost all of her attackers... still, a few had managed to survive and beaten and almost unable to even move she'd eventually been raped by the last remaining few.

His rage had been endless and unbound... and it still was.

He didn't think it would _ever _be calmed.

Most of the bastards were dead, but those that weren't... he would take great pleasure in hunting them down and slowly torturing them to their deaths.

And someday he would eventually die, himself. Then he would hunt down those who were dead, too, and torture them, as well.

Oh, yes... one day, all who had harmed her would know his wrath, of that he was determined.

A feral grin touched his mouth. _I am sure that Inuyasha is also busy teaching those that are dead the error of their ways right now..._

_Hell is probably a most horrible place for them._

The thought was quite satisfying.

There was also Kagura to deal with.

She had deliberately lied to him about Kagome going back through the well hoping that he would court her, instead.

He was no fool – he knew that she had desired him, but he had no interest in a construct of that disgusting hanyou. She was a mere created youkai.

A fake.

If not for her lies Kagome would have been his mate long ago and that attack would never have occurred. So in his eyes Kagura held fault for that, as well.

She would pay dearly for it.

He unclenched his jaw and looked over at the woman he had first had an interest in, then had tender feelings for, and then flat out fallen head over heels in love with.

Even now, with everything that had happened to her she was strong, she was trying so hard to claw her way back from a broken heart and spirit and he was going to help her do it whether she knew it or not, no matter what it took.

"You wish to know why I have brought you here, why I have helped you, why I have placed you in the rooms of the Lady of the West?" he asked, looking straight at her as he asked that, knowing the last part of his question would startle her and cause her to look up at him.

Sure enough, it did.

Eyes wide, she asked, "W-what?"

"I have seen you eyeing the extra door in the bathing spring, wondering where it goes – it connects to my rooms. The rooms you are in are those of the Western Lady."

"It's not appropriate for me to be in those rooms, Sesshoumaru-sama!" she squeaked, shocked, once his words had sunk in. "Why would you do such a horribly inappropriate thing?"

"You will very quickly learn, Kagome, that I do what I want in these lands and that _I_ decide what is appropriate and what is not. Get used to being in those rooms, priestess, because you will be spending a great deal of time in them," he said silkily.

Kagome cast around in her own mind for something that would explain his words in an acceptable – to her – manner. What she came up with... "Oh. I get it. You are too kind, Sesshoumaru-sama," she said dully after a moment. "But there is no need," she said softly, "and eventually I will have to be on my way, I know that. I'm quite thankful for your hospitality so far, my lord, when it wasn't expected."

He tilted his head and looked at her, wondering what stupid idea she'd gotten into her head. Whatever it was, he was about to disabuse her of it quite soundly and with absolutely no regret.

"I've no interest in what your inane thoughts are, Kagome, but you will not be leaving my home again – at least not without me. You are now mine to protect, and these rooms are yours for the duration of both our lives." He eyed her frozen, astonished expression. "I am well aware that you will need much more time to heal; once you have, however, you _will_ be this one's mate and Lady of the West, that is not up for debate."

Kagome, shocked speechless, could only stare at him as he lay down the law.

Eventually, of course, the shock would wear off.

And then the true fight for the heart and soul of Kagome would begin.

Sesshoumaru was _more_ than up for the challenge.

By the time it was all over, Kagome would know the _true _measure of a man.


	2. Chapter 2

**The True Measure of a Woman**

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Inuyasha.

~oOo~

It had been two months since Sesshoumaru's shocking declaration of her place in his life, and since then she'd done everything she could to avoid being alone with him.

Much as she'd love to belong to him it was inappropriate – she was now damaged goods and the Western Lord could set his sights much, much higher than her.

But just as before he'd taken no note of her avoidance tactics, somehow always tracking her down and letting her know that her attempts were nothing more than amusing to him. He didn't seem to care that she was unworthy...

The first person to say those same words to him, "She's not worthy to be your lady!" found herself dead almost before the words were out of her mouth.

A frozen silence fell.

"The next person to make any negative statement about Kagome in any way will find death in the same manner – with shock writ large on their face for the suddenness of it," he said icily. "Is that clear?"

With that statement everyone knew to keep their opinions to themselves – at least if those opinions were negative. For the most part the members of the household kept to themselves, anyway, though there was one female that Kagome seemed to attach herself to and that quite openly returned the younger woman's interest.

Yorokobi was actually elderly for a youkai; she was the head of the healers he kept on his staff, and for some reason she seemed to be the only one capable of assisting in the healing of Kagome's soul.

Sesshoumaru, watching everything to do with Kagome closely, took note of that.

Pulling her aside one day, he asked, "Do you think it would do her good to get away from here for a time?"

Yorokobi eyed him thoughtfully. "Probably. But it would also depend on where you were planning to send her."

"I would have you take her to Antai."

Eyebrow shooting into her bangs, Yorokobi considered that. "Antai... you have not opened that place since the death of your father. But... it is aptly named – tranquility – it is a place that could, indeed, bring about the healing she so needs."

Sesshoumaru nodded. If it could in any way be something that even _might_ benefit Kagome then it would be done, no matter what the cost. This, though... would not cost anything.

"Very well. Then be prepared to leave the day after tomorrow. I will notify the staff to prepare for visitors." Yorokobi nodded in reply as the daiyoukai turned on his heel and strode away, determination in the set of his shoulders and every step he took.

_It is good... that determination will be needed for there is much damage to heal. But if there is anyplace on this earth that could cradle the girl's soul while it did, Antai would be it._

True to his word they left two days later, though he did not go with them.

Kagome didn't even think to ask why – she was certain it was because he'd come to his senses and had decided that she truly wasn't worthy.

She had no idea how wrong she was.

~oOo~

With Kagome out of the way and safe, Sesshoumaru decided it was time for revenge...

There were several beings that he would need to track down and make pay, so it would take a bit of time.

He had plenty of that, though, no thanks to those same beings because Kagome would not be ready to be his for some time.

He had to find _something_ to occupy himself with in the meantime, and revenge was certainly something he could actually enjoy taking on her behalf.

He started with the few male youkai that had lived through the battle and assaulted her in such a dishonorable manner.

Most of them were still together, though a few had broken faith with their companions – they were, after all, no better than human bandits and deserters and with no honor to speak of. It was not surprising that they had also stabbed each other in the back.

He showed no mercy in his attacks – he literally ripped them apart piece by piece, and when they lay dying and begging to know what they had done to earn his ire, he told them.

Her name was always the last thing they heard before death came for them on wings they had spent hours wishing were swifter.

Kagura... Kagura was a different matter, however. She had deliberately lied to him in an attempt to keep them apart and he would not forgive her for it. He spent much time pondering on a fitting revenge for her.

Finally, a month after he'd sent Kagome to Antai he decided on an appropriate punishment for the wind witch – while nothing, as far as he was concerned, could make her suffer enough to take away Kagome's pain, still... she would learn what it was like to be at the mercy of many males.

Sesshoumaru wasn't just a powerful youkai lord. He was also a most puissant sorcerer. He knew much about magics of all kinds and he was about to bind Kagura's youki so that she would be literally as helpless as any human woman, while still remaining youkai.

Then he would sell her to one of the many lower Geisha houses in Gion, those who did not train their women to be true, much sought after Geisha, but merely wanted exotic looking whores to be used by any man who felt like paying her owner's fee. She would learn the hard way – her punishment lasting for two weeks, and then the binding would wear off and she would be able to free herself.

Some might wonder what strange mercy would cause Sesshoumaru to allow her to break free and regain her freedom after such a seemingly short time – but they would be surprised to find that it wasn't mercy at all. If he left her to such a fate forever she would eventually become inured to it, resigned, and would no longer suffer.

That was not what he wanted.

But if he let her get away at a certain carefully chosen point she would suffer the exact same thing that Kagome was suffering – and for a lot longer period of time, because she would know that at any time he could return and repeat the same kind of thing, damaging her psyche even further. She would learn just how vulnerable she truly was. It would teach her that her yearned for freedom was nothing more than an illusion which his hand could always dispel, and that toying with other's lives for petty jealousy was not a wise thing to do.

Pleased with his decision Sesshoumaru began tracking the wind witch, wanting to get her taken care of – it was time to once more confront Kagome. She'd had a certain amount of reprieve from his presence while healing in Antai's welcoming folds, and now it was time to once more press himself upon her.

She needed to know that he was not giving up on her, and what it was he'd been doing for the last month. That he had gained vengeance on her behalf. To know that most of those who had harmed her had been forced to pay for that, that they would no longer be able to bring harm on anyone again could only help her.

Sesshoumaru hummed with sinister amusement when he finally tracked Kagura down; she had approached a practitioner of the magic arts and was requesting a potion that would cause him to lose all sense to desire - for her. She apparently hoped that she could catch him off-guard and use it on him, getting him to mark her in the way of their kind, at which point she thought he would just accept the yoke she had placed upon him and she would finally have what she had desired so fiercely for so long.

He was, however, not so weak. First, a potion such as she was asking for would never be strong enough to overpower his almost invincible control over himself and his bodily functions. Second, even had such a thing worked and he'd taken her in a drug-induced haze, the moment he'd have woken up from it he would simply have killed her and had done with it – mated or not. _No one_ would ever impose their will on him and succeed in such an endeavor.

Catching Kagura unprepared after leaving the witch's home was almost too easy.

With her held under his control, he waited for her anger to calm at her predicament and begin asking questions.

"What are you planning, Sesshoumaru?" she snapped, enraged at finding herself at the mercy of another person's will as she had been for so long under Naraku's thumb. "How dare you attack me out of nowhere and for no reason!"

At that Sesshoumaru actually chuckled, quite amused at her hypocrisy. "I know very well what you were visiting that witch for, Kagura, so play no games with me and drop the indignation. You thought to impose your will on me using some weak potion that you paid far too much for. I am merely turning the tables on you – placing you under _my_ control, instead."

A seductive smirk lit the female's face. "Really, Sesshoumaru, there is no need for this. If you wished me to bow to your will, all you had to do was say so. There is very little-" she ran lascivious eyes over his beautiful form, "-that I wouldn't do for you if you but asked. Or even commanded it."

One brow disappeared into his bangs. "Think you that I wish such things from you? Rid your mind of that fallacy. You are beneath me and I would never sully myself by allowing any part of the abomination that is you to touch any part of me." He eyed her thoughtfully as she scowled angrily at his rejection and insult. "No... your fate is far different than you have any idea of. It is because of you that Kagome is suffering what she is at this time – because of your lies I did not know she was still in this era and so she was not with me and safe."

Kagura interrupted, and it became clear that she knew very well what had happened to Kagome with her words. "How is it my fault that wench got rutted by a bunch of demon males? She's a human, anyway – she should have been honored that anything with demon blood desired to touch her," she seethed, not noticing 'til too late the crimson eyes her words had brought forth.

"And you, as a mere cast-off of a _created_ hanyou then should be grateful that even a human male would desire to touch _you_, Kagura," he snapped. Then his crimson eyes glowed sadistically. "Do you wish to know your fate? Your strength is bound, making you no stronger than a human female – and I am about to sell you to one of the less... _reputable_ whorehouses in Gion. I am sure there will be plenty of human men who would pay a good price to get a chance at such an exotic-looking female." He did not mention the time limit; if she knew it would give her hope, something to look forward to, and he didn't want her to have any hope left.

He wanted her to be left in despair just as Kagome was. And while he would do everything in his power to heal Kagome from what had been done to her, he had no compunctions about doing what he was about to do to the now horrified and struggling Kagura. He was, after all, a dark-hearted youkai Lord with ice in his veins, and the wind witch had harmed terribly something that was his through her lies – had kept him apart from Kagome for several years because she had been jealous and wished him not to have what he wanted because he did not want _her._

For all of that she would pay.

His dark voice froze her even as he lifted her struggling form onto his cloud with little effort. "And remember, Kagura... no matter what happens through the years, I will always be able to reach out and pluck you from your life and make you suffer more. It would be best for your own safety that you stay far away from me and mine and do everything in your power to stay out of my notice."

The now numbed female could do little but stare at him and deeply regret certain decisions she'd made in the recent past. It seemed she would be paying for her petty jealousies in spades.

~oOo~

Satisfaction thrummed through Sesshoumaru as he watched Kagome from afar; he had arrived in Antai yesterday and had since kept himself hidden as he watched her, wanting to see how she seemed to be handling things before he made himself known to her.

It was not so surprising to see her in a much calmer state than she had been since he'd found her again – that was the effect this place had on most people. It was what Antai had been created to do, after all.

His father had it built for his mother when her lover had been killed in a useless skirmish along the borders of the West; Satori had gone into an intense grief that was peculiar only to inuyoukai when losing the one they'd bonded their soul to.

Inuyoukai did not have to be mated to the one they bonded; matings were for politics and power, to combine strong blood with strong blood to beget even stronger blood, but once the needed heir was delivered the two were emotionally and spiritually free to seek love and warmth elsewhere. Such had been the case with his parents, and when his mother's bonded had died she'd grieved heavily for almost a century before finally coming out of it a cool, unhappy female simply waiting for death to take her to her bonded once more.

His father, on the other hand, hadn't had to wait; Izayoi had survived him, of course, though only for a few short years. What had angered him about the situation had not been that his father had taken a lover, but that the lover was human and so beneath them.

He'd since learned the fallacy of his beliefs back then; surprisingly, it was his mother who had started him on the right path though she seemed to be nothing but mocking him, and then Rin had opened him further.

He was glad that she had, because otherwise he would never have seen the glory that was a single human female named Kagome. And now, if he could only heal her broken spirit she would be his mate and his bonded, _both_. That rarely happened; those that found both in one were considered extremely lucky.

He, of course, was always lucky. And he would be even luckier when Kagome was finally healed.

With that thought in mind he finally allowed his youki to swell over the area she was in, and he enjoyed the startled inhale that caught her breath in her throat as he stepped out of the half open shoji that he had been watching her from.

She just stared at him as he moved towards her, her eyes wide as a doe's who had been startled by a predator and had frozen in fear. But that was not the expression he wanted to see on her face – and especially not towards him.

"Kagome," he murmured, not halting his implacable pace until he was mere inches from her. "You look better – your skin has obviously seen more sun." He slowly raised a hand and gently brushed the back of it over her cheek; her eyes widened even more and she gasped slightly at the feel of his silky skin – skin that covered such dangerous appendages.

"Do you fear me?" he asked suddenly, frowning.

She shook her head just slightly, still staring at him wide-eyed and mesmerized.

"Good, for I will never harm you, not in this form or my true form. It is not in me to do so, nor will I ever allow anyone else to do that which I will not – now that you are under my protection anything that would dare to lay an unkind hand on you would do it knowing death stared them in the eye for their actions," he said softly, still caressing her cheek.

After a moment he took his hand away and looked her over. "You look much better. How have you been?" he asked, motioning for her to walk with him, which she did – with her head down in a way it had never been held before. She still looked so beaten that it made his heart ache and his anger at those that had harmed her swell.

"Fine," she said quietly. "It's very beautiful here. Yorokobi told me what its name is... Antai. It's a perfect name." She eyed him sideways, her brow furrowed as if she were trying to figure something out. After a moment, she asked, "Have you come for a visit?"

He returned her sideways glance. "A visit? Is that what you still believe, miko? That I have changed my mind, decided against what I told you that day in your rooms at the main palace? Shake that thought from _your_ mind, for I will never change mine. No. I am not here to visit. I am here to help you find your spirit, Kagome, and I will not leave here again until you do."

She came to a halt, shocked surprise on her face. She truly had thought that he'd come to his senses and turned away from her. She was not suitable for him. "Sesshoumaru-sama," she began hesitantly; he turned on her angrily at her address of him.

"Stop. The honorific changes nothing, Kagome. And I will not accept it from you, anyway. Do you think in your broken mind to tell me what is and is not acceptable for me to have or do? _I_ decide that, and I will allow no one, not even you, to tell me otherwise. You will be mine, Kagome, when you can revive your spirit and quit allowing those bastards to win." He cast her another sidelong glance, taking note of the conflicting emotions on her face; anger at his arrogance and sad shadows. "Do you wish to know what I did to those who harmed you?" he asked suddenly.

She went white at his rather blunt mention of the attack on her and then flushed with humiliation, knowing that he had seen... had seen... She looked away. "Does it matter? It doesn't change what happened," she whispered, too ashamed to meet his eyes.

"No... perhaps not, but then, the revenge I took on them was more to soothe my hatred and rage than anything else. But it might also help you to note that they will never be able to harm another in any manner whatsoever." He picked a small flower from the hedge they were walking along and, brushing back a lock of ebony hair, he placed the flower behind her ear. "As for Kagura... she is experiencing exactly what it is like to be a helpless human woman, and I daresay she isn't enjoying the experience. Perhaps now she will understand that to interfere in my life in such a manner as she did with her lies as to your whereabouts was the biggest mistake she has ever made, and will do all she now can to avoid my wrath in the future."

Kagome blanched again at what his words implied. "You... you... didn't... you didn't do..." she stuttered to a halt, too horrified to finish the question.

He cast an insulted look in her direction. "As if I would ever touch any part of that pseudo-female, or any female in such a forced manner," he growled. "Or any female that is not you, period. No... but there are many that would not be bothered by touching one as low as she, and she will have many chances to understand what it is like to be helpless. You would have thought she'd have understood that from her forced service under Naraku, but apparently her arrogance convinced her that was not the same thing. She is now finding out that it is." He turned again and took her arm, gently tugging her around the corner of the hedge. "I will not apologize for my method of vengeance, Kagome."

Still pale, Kagome nodded. "I'm sure. 'Apology' is not a word that is really in your vocabulary."

"Hn." He stopped them both under a huge weeping willow; gesturing for her to sit he followed her down, relaxed and at ease beneath the trees as he sat near to the woman he wanted, the woman he wanted to bond.

"Tell me... what did you understand me to be saying that day in the rooms I deemed yours?" he asked, knowing full well she understood his question perfectly.

Kagome flinched just a little and gasped at his blunt question. She swallowed heavily and cleared her throat, fidgeting and unable to meet his eyes, but he refused to move on without an answer, and finally she spoke in a hesitant, fractured whisper. "I... I just thought you were being kind to one so far beneath you. I thought you were trying to shock me out of my... my..." she trailed off, unable to actually speak of what had happened to her.

She was in no way prepared for his response.

He laughed.

He actually laughed.

Though it wasn't with any form of amusement; it was a raw, sarcastic, angry laugh, and she flinched, fear invading her scent and making her even angrier.

"You know better than that, Kagome – I am not _kind_. I am dark, and I am murderous, and I am even more selfish - I am _choosing_ to take care of you because I want you – which makes you mine. I meant every word I spoke to you in those rooms. And drop the fearful act, for it does not play with me." He eyed her, hoping to see anger; he smiled grimly, pleased when he got exactly that. "You have never feared me before and I refuse to allow you to do it now because of some few bastards that ended their pitiful lives begging and screaming for mercy I will never have, especially for them."

Eyes narrowing as her temper got the better of her for a moment or two, she snapped at him right back. "Who do you think you are to tell me who to fear and who not to fear, you pompous dog? And worse – you all of a sudden think you own me? No one owns me," she hissed.

And then he smiled, only this time the expression was one of approval and happiness, startling and confusing her shorting mind with his quick emotional turnaround. Whoever Sesshoumaru had been trying to convince with his old emotionless and blank face he was blatantly lying, because he switched emotions almost as quickly as she'd always been accused of.

"And that proves to me that while your spirit might be wounded, it is not dead. You are still alive in that tomb you are calling a body and I mean to bring you back to the land of the living, my fierce little kitten." His smile turned into a smirk. "And you can deny me all you want, but you _are_ mine... because there is nothing that you can do to stop me claiming you as just that. And deep down where it counts, _my_ Kagome," he said mockingly, "you do not even want to stop me."

Dumbfounded, Kagome just stared at him. "But why, Sesshoumaru? Why are you doing this? I'm not what I once was!" She looked away dejectedly, her temper dying just that fast and leaving her drained. "And I'm not even a miko anymore."

He snorted. "And who told you that? Think you that because you are no longer virgin that you cannot be miko? That is where you are wrong. There are temple miko that actually rut with the patrons at will, and it is not looked down on. They do not lose their reiki, either," he said, eyeing her shocked expression with interest. "Are they not aware of that particular behavior in your era? I assure you, it happens. There have even been kitsune that have disguised themselves with Inari's blessing and gone in to enjoy the female's consort."

Stunned, Kagome's brow furrowed and she called her reiki to her just as she would when shooting an arrow, not really expecting it to respond. She was left breathless when it did, and Sesshoumaru left her staring at her glowing hands as he moved into the palace to enjoy a relaxing bath. He'd just given her plenty to think of, as it was very apparent she'd thought her reiki gone and herself worthless and defenseless because of it.

Now she was finding she wasn't... meaning she had a great deal to rethink.

First step forward...

~oOo~

Kagome could not stop staring at her hands. Her hands encased by her pink reiki – the reiki she'd been so sure she no longer had. _But... I thought that... _Her mind, still blank, couldn't seem to come up with anything else and so she just continued to stare at her hands.

Finally, another thought broke through.

_I'm not defenseless._

Without even having to think about it Kagome began running through different exercises, different applications of her reiki spinning from her fingers as she played with the power she'd thought she'd lost. It moved fluidly, answering her call easily just as it always had, and she couldn't stop the swell of gratitude and happiness that rushed through her at the realization that she was not just some weak female that would now be at the mercy of anyone that chose to confront her.

_I can still defend myself!_

She could feel something shift inside – something she'd thought broken beyond redemption... her spirit, and she realized in that moment as pink reiki spun around her in a halo of rosy fire that she was still alive, still in one piece, and still of some value.

Now she had to decide just how much.

The fact that it had been Sesshoumaru, the dark prince who was so deceptive with his angelic appearance, to return some sense of self-worth to her was a strange one to contemplate. Because there was no denying that he was a dark being – unapologetically dark. He offered no excuses for it, neither proud of nor ashamed of what he was inside. His pride he saved for his name and his abilities. And Kagome had to admit that those same things made him highly appealing. After all, were not light and dark drawn to each other? Had they not chased after each other endlessly since the dawn of creation? Perhaps when they finally managed to catch each other and day and night combined, time would end and eternity would begin.

It occurred to her in that moment as her pink reiki whirled around her that _she_ was the light to his dark, and perhaps that same thing she found fascinating in him for its difference to herself was what called to him in her. And while the attacks on her had dimmed her light for a while, he had never been fooled, still able to see it shining inside her even when she had felt surrounded by the dark with no way out of it and no hope of ever finding that light that had lived inside her again.

Still, for all that she was now realizing she continued to feel dirty inside, and she could see the blight in her soul pulsing like a living thing, writhing and unclean and with a terrible malice just waiting to strike and tear her down again. And it occurred to her then that this evil in her soul was not truly a part of her, but the remnants of the attack on her – the energy left behind that attacked not her body but her psyche, damaging who she was inside even more than the physical attack had damaged her flesh. It was a realization she was just now coming to see – rape was not truly, at its heart, a physical domination. Rape was an attempt to strike at a woman's soul – to destroy that part of her that could not be touched physically but was all the more vulnerable for that fact. It was sheer cruelty wrapped up in sharp hatred that drove a spike through a woman's heart and soul.

It was spiritual warfare at its most extreme.

But the truth was... it was only a domination that could be achieved if she _allowed_ it. They were actually attempting to break her soul when they attacked her, but... only she could really do such a thing. Only _she_ could decide whether they would win this war or lose it. If she allowed that creeping blight in her soul to stay she was submitting herself to their hatred, their malice, and letting them have the victory over her.

In that peculiar moment of stillness, that moment that had so far stretched for an eternity, Kagome realized that each countering pulse of her reiki made that wallowing blackness flinch and the edges of it fade to gray. For once she reacted without thinking, allowing her reiki to flood her entire being rather than just a part of her as she always had before. She drenched herself in it, steeped herself in the god energies that her soul had always held and watched with interest as that foreign blackness began to be purified, slowly paling and fading away, leaving behind nothing more than a scar – a sign of the fire that she'd come through, and with help, managed to find and defeat.

She would wear that scar with pride, she decided in a moment of detached interest, before looking further even as her reiki finally died back down into the depths of her soul, once more hers to call and command. And what she saw calmed some of her disquiet, leaving her feeling tired yet triumphant – she had finally taken the leap and defeated the remaining psychic energy of the attack on her, and now the healing could finally begin.

This was the _true_ measure of Kagome's spirit...

… and the second step forward.

~oOo~

A/N: As for what I had Sesshoumaru do to Kagura. Some might be upset and wonder how I could even write such a thing. My answer is this: in that era, many a woman was sold into the geisha houses. It was just a fact of life back then. Sesshoumaru was a Lord, who would have apportioned punishment as he saw fit for actions that he did not like. And so he sentenced Kagura to what he saw as simple justice.

The part about miko involving themselves in what might be called orgies is actually true. The Shrines at Ise held just such festivals where the miko would have sex with those there, and it was not considered anything out of the ordinary. However, that was back before the Warring States era. By that time, the practice had died down and the belief that a miko had to be physically pure had taken over.

For anyone who does wish to read the rest of this, there will be a sequel called The True Measure of a Heart.

Amber


	3. The True Measure of a Heart

**The True Measure of a Heart**

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Inuyasha.

~oOo~

Sesshoumaru watched the woman wander through the gardens idly as he smoked his kiseru, the fragrant smoke winding around him in languid loops. He had been watching her in just such a fashion for weeks now.

He was a patient being. He had always been this way, even when he was young. But it seemed that Kagome was the one thing able to stretch and strain his patience like no other. Waiting for her to heal from what had been done to her was forcing him to dig deeper than he'd ever thought he would need to just to keep himself from killing everyone around him. It would certainly settle his nerves if he were to do so, he thought to himself, a dark expression overtaking him as he watched her turn her face up to the sun and close her eyes.

She had been here at Antai for two months now and he had to admit, despite his own impatience, that she was doing much better now than she had been when she'd first come here. One of the biggest things that had helped her had been the realization that she had not lost her reiki to her attack as she had thought she had. She was still every bit the formidable power that she had ever been.

His ruminations were interrupted by his assistant's entrance. He waited silently as the male bowed, then began speaking. "Sesshoumaru-sama," he began in a soft voice, "the group of youkai that we have been tracking have finally lost their senses and entered your lands. They have attacked one village so far but have done nothing else, having stopped to... celebrate their conquest, it seems. Your wishes?" he asked.

The daiyoukai said nothing, merely flicking his fingers at the male who bowed once more and quietly left the room, sliding the doors shut with almost no sound. Sesshoumaru let out another puff of smoke as he watched Kagome tuck a tendril of hair behind her soft, rounded little ear. Taking one last inhale, he set the pipe down in the little glass bowl meant to hold it as it snuffed out and then stood, leaving the room behind with no sound whatsoever as he let himself out into the garden to intercept the little female.

Perhaps it was time to lead Kagome back into real life – she could not simply wither away here in isolation forever.

No... it was time to take her back into the real world – she was ready.

And so was he.

~oOo~

"Where are we going?"

Those were the first words that Kagome had spoken since Sesshoumaru had appeared next to her in the gardens of Antai and told her to prepare herself to leave. They were already on their way, her riding on Ah-Uhn's back as the ground flew by beneath them.

"There is a group of rogue youkai that have lost their intelligence and dared to enter this one's lands. They attacked a village and are even now celebrating their supposed 'conquest'," he said derisively. "We go to teach them the folly of their ways."

Breath catching in consternation when what he was saying broke over her, she looked over at him and said, "Celebrating?" in a questioning, almost sick tone of voice.

"Two of those that are there are the last survivors of the group that attacked you," he returned, not quite answering the question in her voice, but also not willing to hide the truth of the identities of those involved in the attack on the village. It really didn't need to be said that they were raping the captive women – the ones that they hadn't outright killed, of course.

It was, unfortunately, a common crime in this day and age and Kagome would be faced with it probably many times in the next centuries. She had to learn to deal with it – and there was also the fact that once she had learned to face that fact without it causing her to panic she would finally be ready to be his.

He was becoming most impatient for that point in time to finally arrive.

Kagome had paled as soon as she heard his words, flashes of that terrible day pulling darkness from within and causing her to choke in sudden fear.

"There is no cause for you to fear, Kagome – I would never allow anyone to harm you," Sesshoumaru reprimanded gently as he turned his head to look at her. "But I would not suffer them to live even if it weren't for this new attack on what is mine, and _you_ need to be the one to take their lives."

He'd had to wrestle with himself often over the last weeks to give up his own desire to torture them. He wanted nothing more than to feel their blood dripping from his claws, to hear their screams as his poison ate at them from within, to be responsible for their deaths. But if he did then Kagome would never get over that last little bit of damage. She had to be the one to take their lives so that she could once again feel in control of herself and her destiny. It was the only thing that would break the last chains that she had been bound in since the day she'd been raped.

"I... I can't, Sesshoumaru!" she finally managed to get out, her voice having been stripped from her the moment she'd heard his words. "How could you trick me like this? You knew I'd never agree to this if you'd told me before we left!"

"And yet it is necessary for you to heal the rest of the damage to your spirit, Kagome. Listen to yourself. Never before would you ever have backed down from anyone, and yet now you shiver in fear of two males that are weak and beneath you in every way." His eyes sparked; she was unable to look away as he forced her to face the past. "It is time to face your fears and defeat them."

"I couldn't do it before, so what makes you think I can defeat them now?!" she spat, fear making her cheeks pale and her eyes darken. "They might be weak compared to you, but I..." she looked away as she trailed off, shame clouding her scent, "... I am weak compared to you, too," she finished, now barely audible even to his sharp ears.

Sesshoumaru snorted, not accepting her excuse. "These two carrion are so weak that even Jaken would be able to defeat them. The only reason they succeeded in their attack on you was because of their sheer numbers at the time. They simply overwhelmed you back then, but that is not the case this time. And don't even give me the spiel about not being able to murder someone in cold blood; they are nothing more than animals that are preying on human and youkai alike and must be stopped. They are like the many youkai that you killed during the hunt for Naraku. You _will_ face them, and you _will_ destroy them. And then you will see that I was right – you will finally be freed from those last chains that have bound you for so long."

Kagome didn't need to wait to see whether he was right, she already knew he was. But the fact of the matter was that she didn't feel ready for this in any way at all. "I'm not ready for this, Sesshoumaru! I'm not ready to face the past or them!"

"And I say you are wrong. You are ready. But if you were not pushed you would never force yourself to face them, and it has been long enough." He glanced at her again out of one golden eye. "Would you have them free to roam and continue killing and raping? If you do not stop them they will do just that."

She froze at that, completely unwilling to hear it and yet knowing he was right. The truth of the matter was that she didn't want to face them, not that she wasn't ready – and forcing her to acknowledge the fact that they would continue to destroy the lives of all those around them if not stopped was the one thing that would make her cooperate, for she would never be able to live with the guilt that would inundate her if she turned a blind eye towards their crimes because she wanted to be a coward.

Her shoulders slumped and tears edged her eyes as the fight drained out of her. She felt raw and pained but she could not bring herself to deny his planned objective. She _would_ face those who had attacked her and had now attacked others, and she _would_ destroy them, no matter how much misery it caused her. "You are a tactical genius, you know that?" she asked, her voice low and angry and even bitter. It was clear, at any rate, that her words were not a compliment. "Always moving those around you to suit your desires, no matter what it does to them. It must be nice not having a heart."

Her companion shook his head. "If I did not have a heart I would have left you bound by these chains for the rest of your life. Broken and weak and hiding yourself away from life. But I have not, and your words will not make me relent. I _will _see you healed of this damage no matter how hard you fight me," he finished, his tone relentless and uncompromising.

Kagome's shoulders slumped as guilt bit at her for taking her fear out on him, because he was right – if he didn't have a heart he would have left her to flounder in this prison that was really of her own making. Hell, he would have left her where he found her those months ago, injured and face down in the dirt at his feet. Instead, he'd picked her up, dusted her off, and given her every aid in healing that he could.

"I'm... sorry," she breathed at last, shame at her manner keeping her from looking at him. "I didn't mean it."

Sesshoumaru brushed her apology off. "I understand you better than you think," he replied, "so your apologies are not necessary. All I require from you is that you face your fears and defeat them. You will not be alone in this anymore than you ever will be from now on," he added as he began to lead them lower, finally closing in on the position of those who had dared to cross him. "Now be silent, for we are almost atop them and I do not wish to give our presence away just yet."

Kagome didn't take insult at his words; she shivered, because she also did not want to give their presence away to those who were even now shouting drunkenly and carrying on in their ill-gained camp.

She could hear the cries of the women and the raucous laughter of the males as they laughed at the begging and pleading of the women, and she slid off Ah-Uhn's back and retched, the sounds mixing with her memories and leaving her to wonder if she was still being assaulted and Sesshoumaru and her months at Antai had been her own mind breaking.

Sesshoumaru didn't leave her to wonder for long; his face frozen at the pain and fear in hers he watched the cavorting males through the trees with cold and dangerous eyes. But he didn't move, and when one of the women cried out in pain and the terror of her circumstances, what he'd known all along would happen... did.

Kagome's fear left her and rage took its place instead, and she drew an arrow and burst through the trees and into the firelight, holding her now blazing weapon drawn on the male that was accosting the woman who'd cried out.

"Move away from her," she growled through gritted teeth as silence fell around the camp; the male did as told, since he was the one under the arrow, but the others all laughed after a moment.

"Look, everyone, we missed one," one said with malice dripping from his voice. "And she was kind enough to deliver herself to us." He frowned then, and looked closer at her. "Oi – I know who you are – we've already spoiled you, wench. Come back for more?" he drawled to the laughter of his current companions.

Kagome recognized his voice – it was he that had been her chief tormenter that day she'd been assaulted, and with little thought she turned her arrow on him and loosed it, watching in satisfaction as it hit and he turned to dust with a shocked scream. Suddenly, those still in the camp weren't laughing any longer.

But before they could regroup and gang up on the young miko Sesshoumaru walked into camp, his youki heavy and presuming and freezing every being in place with consternation.

Tears were streaked down Kagome's cheeks but she did not falter; she'd already nocked a new arrow and had drawn down on the last male standing out of the entire group that had attacked her that day that now seemed so long ago. She tilted her head, indicating that he'd best move away from the woman he'd been about to rape and once he did, seemingly mesmerized by the hot pink glow of her reiki, Sesshoumaru said, "Do it, Kagome. Just like you fought them all before and killed most of them, you must finish it."

Openly sobbing now Kagome nodded, and closing her eyes let her arrow go. It made a solid 'thunk' sound when it hit and she could hear the male's screams as he slowly disintegrated.

But as the camp suddenly woke back up and the other males tried to escape Sesshoumaru's vengeance for attacking anything in his lands, Kagome stayed put, eyes tightly closed as she replayed those minutes under the trees over and over through her mind's eye.

The sounds of dying youkai around her didn't even faze her, lost in her own mind as she was, but when it finally fell silent she opened her eyes to see why.

The women were already gone, disappearing into the trees the moment Sesshoumaru went after their captors and he let them go, too busy making sure those who'd attacked them would never get the chance again to pay any attention to their escape. The males were all dead, and the gore-strewn clearing gave away how; he'd used his whip, slicing them all to pieces in one turn.

It was a bloody and terrible way to die but Sesshoumaru showed no mercy; these males, while they might not have been the ones that had attacked Kagome would have done so if they'd been there, as they'd shown by their actions and he had no qualms whatsoever about destroying them like the plague they were.

"Vermin," he finally scowled as his whip disappeared back into his fingers. "They were nothing but vermin. As were the two that you killed." He paused and then looked at her, his eyes golden and watchful. "I am pleased... you did what was necessary."

But there was a question in his voice, and Kagome raised dazed eyes to meet his now gentle gaze. She knew what he was asking and nodded.

"Yes... you were right," she finally sighed, her eyes sliding away from his. "I know you were right. They had to be stopped, and... I... I had to stop them."

"Hn." Sesshoumaru watched her closely for a few seconds, frowning slightly at the way she wouldn't look at him, but after a moment he decided that he would leave her be for now. If she continued such a tactic of avoidance then it could be dealt with later. For now... "Come – we return to Antai."

Without waiting for a reply he led the way back to a patiently waiting Ah-Uhn and then, when she had just as silently mounted him he took to the air, guiding them back to tranquility so that Kagome could do the last of her healing in its comforting embrace.

_Soon... very soon now she will finally be ready. And none too soon, either, for my patience is finally running out._

~oOo~

There had been an odd air of anticipation at Antai for several days that had the servants and even Kagome tense and a little on edge, for they could all feel that it was coming from the master of the realm, and it was unusual for him to be broadcasting his emotions in such a manner.

The little miko, still trying to deal with what had taken place on her first foray outside of Antai in months, tried to stay away from the daiyoukai while she worked her way through the last remnants of the assault on her and the scars it had left behind. Surprisingly, he had allowed it so far, but she knew that wouldn't last and so she was also trying to brace herself for what she knew was coming, and sooner rather than later.

After all, she certainly hadn't forgotten what he'd been claiming ever since she'd woken in his domain, and he'd made no secret of the fact that he was only waiting for her to be ready before taking her as his lady.

Even after all this time and everything that had happened between them and within herself, she still had trouble believing that Sesshoumaru wanted her so much that he was willing to overlook her being spoiled in the way she had been. Rape was a much different matter here in Sengoku Jidai than it was in her world, and even more to one like the daiyoukai – his senses were extremely sensitive, and she was quite certain he'd been able to sense the remains of the attack on her in a way humans would never be able to.

She cringed at the thought, knowing that she had to have greatly offended his sense of smell when she'd been found – for he would have been able to scent out the remnants of the males who'd spoiled her with perfect acuity. That was easily attested to by the fact that he'd then went about tracking those same males down and killing them – and all by the scent they'd left behind on her.

Shame clouded her aura and tears her eyes and she shook her head almost despairingly, not even able to see the loveliness she was surrounded by, sitting in the shade of a huge sakura tree with beautiful gardens spread out as far as the eye could see. Perhaps that was why she was unaware of the object of her thoughts approaching, which left her unable to escape him as she had been doing since returning to Antai.

"Why do your thoughts still linger on something that no longer has any power to harm you?"

Startled, Kagome stiffened, and then reluctantly acknowledged him. "Sesshoumaru," she whispered, still refusing to look at him, her face flushing as his sudden appearance left her floundering. _And just when I was thinking __those__ things he comes to me..._

Her eyes widened defenselessly as her chin was jerked up and around, forcing her to lock eyes with Sesshoumaru in all his perfection. He was close, really, really close, and she was completely unable to move – he wouldn't allow it.

"Do not turn away and hide from me – not with your body _or_ your eyes," he began sternly, almost scowling at her with displeasure. "Nothing that belongs to me is ever allowed to be outside my consideration, and most especially not you, my dear Kagome."

At the arrogance put into that statement Kagome scowled back, suddenly irritated and forgetting her angst of a moment. "Belongs to you?!" she snapped belligerently. "I don't belong to anybody!"

Sesshoumaru laughed darkly, his grip on her chin tightening for a moment. "Oh, but you do, little miko. But though I have claimed you, you have given yourself instead to your attackers and allowed _them_ to own you. And despite what has so recently occurred, you are still doing so. When are you going to deny them and turn to me?" he practically snarled.

Shocked at his bold words, Kagome's eyes widened even further as they echoed through the sudden ringing silence within her own mind. Her lips moved but nothing came out – she was simply too stunned by what he'd said to retain control of her vocal chords – or her wits.

After several long, breathless moments spent staring at him in confusion, she finally shook her head, her scowl having softened to a pained frown. _I've... given myself to those bastards? How could he even say something like that to me? I thought... _"How could you?" she breathed, the hurt in her voice written on her face, as well. "How could you say... such a horrible thing to me?"

"What?" he snapped. "That you have given yourself to those that assaulted you? Because it is the _truth_. Still, even after all that has passed between us you are allowing their actions to make you dance to their tune. As long as shame clouds your scent and keeps your eyes hidden from me, you are allowing them to control you when there is no reason for it. _They are dead,_ and can no longer harm you or anyone else. _Let it go!"_ he finished in a low, but fierce tone, his voice rumbling in his chest as his eyes reddened just a bit around the edges.

"It's not that easy!" Kagome burst out, tears rimming the edges of her eyes and then falling over and down her cheeks in a cascade as the last of the poison within her system welled up within her. They fell closed as her voice fell into silence, and Sesshoumaru watched with grim expression.

He shook her gently after a moment, and her drowned eyes opened back up obediently to once again meet his. "It is not that hard," he returned softly, his once more golden in the moment and very intent. "Let it go," he repeated, his voice suddenly soothing and hypnotic to the weary young woman he was still holding onto.

A sob broke from her before she could stop it, and then she almost folded in on herself as pain washed through her, the blight inside her trying to retake its faltering grip on her soul. "You're poison, do you know that?" she finally sighed, too tired to fight with him any longer.

"Then let me poison you, Kagome," he whispered. "You will find that my poison is much, much sweeter than what those bakayarou left within you. It will never harm you, only heal you. All you have to do is trust me and let me inside in place of those others. Let me prove to you that my words are true – I promise you will never regret it."

Still caught in his eyes Kagome could only wonder numbly why she was even bothering to try to escape him. She didn't really want to, after all – she just felt unworthy of one so high as him. But if he was so adamant that her view was wrong and only his was correct, then what was the point? In the end the only opinion here that mattered was his – if he thought her worthy, then what did it matter what she thought, anyway?

The truth was, she was almost ashamed to admit, she'd never have really felt herself worthy even if that attack had not occurred. Sesshoumaru was the pinnacle of the youkai race, with beauty and grace the gods envied. And she was... just a human. Longer lived than all the others, for some reason she'd been unable to fathom since she'd found out about her extended lifetime, but still only human.

So what was it that he saw in her? She still just didn't understand... and she probably never would.

She exhaled deeply, her tears slowing as her weariness began to numb her to all the poison and the pain of the past months. It left her right where Sesshoumaru wanted her... unable to fight him any longer and not really seeing the point of doing so anymore, anyway. Shaking her head, she looked down finally, a very slight smile on her lips that the daiyoukai was immeasurably pleased to see.

"Is this the true measure of a man, then?" she asked.

It was silent as he waited for her to look up again, and when she did she was immediately trapped in melting gold, the look in those eyes giving away something she'd never have imagined him capable of containing within him.

"No, Kagome... this is the true measure of a heart. Even I, the cold lord, as so many have called me, have a heart – and it is yours. All you must do is reach out and accept it. Reach out for the future you will have at my side and let it erase the past from your memories. Let _me_ erase the past and give you new memories to look back upon with joy instead of horror and pain," he said, his voice going husky as his eyes sparked with flame and he pulled the unresisting form of Kagome closer and into his embrace.

And as he kissed her for the first time Kagome did as he had told her to do and let him erase the memories of anyone's touch but his own from every corner of her heart, mind, and soul.

In later years that one phrase – _the true measure of a heart -_ was the one thing she would always think back upon, because it was the first and best way he'd ever told her that he loved her, though he proved it everyday and in many different ways.

She finally understood that the true measure of Sesshoumaru...

… was the full measure of his heart.

And it was endless in all its glory.

_Owari _

~oOo~

A/N: And it's finally done. I know a lot of you have been waiting for me to finish this, and I apologize for the wait – life and writer's block and a lot of other things have had me in a huge slump. Hopefully things will finally start calming down soon... I would like to get back to enjoying writing again.

I hope everyone is happy with the final part of this story... yes, Kagome does some backsliding between the second chapter and this one, but that's actually how these things tend to go. Healing takes a long time and generally comes in waves, with the aforementioned backsliding in between.

Amber


End file.
